Life Lessons in a Cup of Tea

A simple way to discover your true self
“Every human being is represented by these two glasses,” explained Master Hu, as he placed two small glasses in front of me. Master Hu is the resident Shaolin Monk at the Spa at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Sanya, a rugged paradise on the island of Hainan, off the southern coast of China. This was the beginning of a “Zen Tea Ceremony” in which he revealed to me fascinating mysteries about tea and life.
For most hotel guests, Master Hu is known as the affable instructor who teaches Tai Chi, Kung Fu and Qi Gong classes on the resort’s oceanfront lawn. But to really understand his brilliance, you have to sit down and have tea with him.
He poured some red tea in one of the glasses. “This glass represents ‘se’ or ‘color,’” he explained. The other glass was left without tea to represent “kong” or “empty.”
The “color” signifies our knowledge, status and emotions. The “empty” represents our true selves (“your original self,” Master Hu would say), before we get “filled up” with all that other stuff. Your original self is who you are when you have time to be yourself and nobody is watching.
But this is not to say that “color” is bad and “empty” is good. The color is what makes life more interesting. Master Hu describes our emotions like the settings on a thermostat. In the summer we like to feel more cold, in the winter we like to feel more hot, but you cannot say that cold is better than hot or vice versa, it depends on what you need at that moment.
The problem comes when we make decisions based on our “color.” Placing the glass of red tea on a white piece of paper, Master Hu asked me to look through the tea and see what color I saw. “Orange,” I said (not entirely certain). “But through the empty glass you can see that the paper is white?” he asked. “Yes” (sure of myself, now). “So you can see how the color distorts reality,” Master Hu said.
This is the fundamental problem with human nature. The only way to find the truth is through the emptiness of our original self. But when we are trying to decide what is important, all we see is the color. We forget all about our original self because it is as if there is nothing there.
The solution, according to Master Hu, is to find some time every day to spend with your “empty” original self. The challenge is to find just 20 minutes to be with yourself doing something that really connects you to who you are.
This can be different for everyone. Some people might find their original self through meditation, exercise, art, music or dance. Master Hu finds it by drinking tea. Here are some of the ways that Master Hu uses tea to find his original self:
1. Prepare the tea. There are many steps to preparing a quality tea. And the water is very hot so you must pay attention to what you are doing. You don’t have time to think about anything else.
2. Let the tea cool. Because the tea is very hot, it forces us to sit and wait. We can admire the color of the tea. We can begin to inhale and savor the sweet fragrance of the tea. The tea will not be rushed.
3. Drink the tea. According to Master Hu, the first sip of tea should be held in the mouth for a few seconds. Master Hu drinks his tea like a French sommelier drinking a rare Bordeaux.
Spending time with Master Hu is very enlightening. I don’t think I will ever look at tea (or life) the same way again.
Jeremy McCarthy is the group director of spa for the Mandarin Oriental Hotel Group. He is the author of The Psychology of Spas & Wellbeing and hosts a blog at psychologyofwellbeing.com.